week 9: will of the Lord

Whoa. Well this week threw a curve ball didn´t it? Was not expecting that at all. Presidente Caffaro submitted the report to Salt Lake on Friday about what´s been going on and he said we´ll know what they decide by today. The nurse says she´s almost positive they´ll be sending me home to get it fixed and that they usually do it really quick for health needs, she said her guess is that by Wednesday I´ll be home. But Presidente said he´d call me when he finds out for sure and I´m sure either him or I will be in contact with you about what they decide. Whoa. Ha it´s been a very emotional week. I can honestly say I´m more nervous to come home than I was to come here. But I don´t want to talk about that anymore so ya...

Any ways, this week was good! It´s been so hot! Finally!!! I have been a happy camper. 

Monday was a good day, P-day is always a good day. That night things got a little rough. All of our appointments fell through and no one would talk to us. We saw one of our investigators that was supposed to get baptized on Saturday smoking. So there goes that baptism. It was a really rough night.

Tuesday Hermana Sanchez and I woke up and were still upset about the night before and we went out and were walking every where trying to find people and go to our appointments and once again no one was talking to us. It was so frustrating! We were out trying to talk to people, going to our investigators houses, less actives, knocking on random doors and seriously no one would talk to us. We were feeling pretty down about everything and then we said a prayer to just find somebody. We then went and knocked all the doors in an appartment complex and were able to teach one lesson and the lady did not like it. But after that we went back out and were walking and still not having much success but then I realized, that I was out walking and trying to find people and doing everything that I absolutley could and that the Lord only asks us to do all we possibly can and that´s what I was doing. So I felt better. That night we felt like we should go to do how to begin teaching with one of our street contacts from last week. Her name is Flor, she´s 16, lives by herself, can´t read and is so prepared for this gospel! We taught her and she just ate up our message and said at the ends of our lessons, if she feels like it´s the right thing to do she wants to get baptized. Such a tender mercy and made the whole day worth it.

Wednesday we had an awesome zone conference about how to be better missionaries and meet our goals. Wednesday was a tough day for my knees. I could only make it to one investigators house before I literally could not walk. So we went back to the apartment and tried to find a ward member for me to stay with and another to do divisions with my companion. So such luck. PLEASE PLEASE work with the missionaries in your ward. It´s so frustrating when no one works with us.

Thursday was good, we were in and out of the apartment all day because of my knees. When it got to the point where I couldn´t walk we´d go back and I´d ice them and then we´d go back out and then in and out. It was so frustrating. But that night we met our district leader at the church so he could give Sergio the baptismal interview. He passed!! He got surgery on Tuesday so he won´t be able to be baptized for a little bit. But I´m so excited for him! And after the interview Elder Hart and his comp gave me a blessing and it was in spanish and I didn´t understand everything, but I felt the spirit so powerfully.

Friday we spent most of the day in our apartment once again because of my dumb knees. But we had one amazing lesson with our investigator Antoina, she has been so prepared and is so excited about the Book of Mormon and is progressing so well. I´m so excited for her. Her husband can´t read but she´s reading the pamphlets to him and the Book of Mormon and they both feel good about them. This gospel is so amazing!!

Saturday Hermana Trapnell called me and talked to me about what´s going to happen this week and she read me the email that dad sent and after that Presidente Caffaro called to check in with everything and he read a scripture to me that brought me alot of comfort becuase honestly I´ve felt like the crappiest missionary ever this week. But he said he submitted the report on Friday and it´s now up to the general authorities to decide what to do. So now we´re just waiting to hear back from them.

Sunday was amazing. I´m tearing up right now just thinking about the power I felt from the family fast. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You guys honestly have no idea what a strength that was for me. I woke up and just found so much comfort about everything and was so happy and was able to be out and working all day. It was honestly a miracle. No matter what happens, everything is going to be okay and it´s part of a bigger plan for me. It might not be ideal or what we expected, but that´s where faith plays in and I´ve just found so much comfort in that. So thank you. I have the best family in the world and don´t know what I´d do without you guys. Sunday there was also a big earthquake! It was awesome! Earthquakes are still my favorite things.

So that´s what happened this week. Oh also, I will never ever complain about having to do laundry with a washer and dryer ever again. It´s 5 billion times easier than doing it by hand. That´s all I can think of so I guess I´ll let you guys know when we hear from Salt Lake and what they decide. Maybe they won´t decide today because we aren´t the only mission in the world that they need to think about, but whenever we know I´ll be in touch. 

I love you guys so much. Thanks for everything! 

Love, Hermana Tuddenham

week 8: Lots of learning

Hey family! Sorry about the email last week, there was so much going on and so many people trying to talk to me and I was trying to write and it was just insane. So I´m sorry! I´ll try to do better!

So my trainer is Hermana Sanchez and she is amazing and fluent in english! That seriously has been the biggest blessing in my whole life at the moment. She´s from El Salvador and is so helpful.

So this week was really good, but to be 100% honest (and I told you before I left that my emails aren´t going to be the cheesy ´´oh everything is perfect, this is the best thing ever´ emails missionaries usually send. They´re going to be truthful) This is so hard. I knew the living conditions would be bad, I knew I´d be walking around all day long, I knew my knees would be swollen and hurt and I was ready for all of that. I was not ready for people pointing at my laughing at me all day long, I was not ready for how lonely it feels to only understand maybe 1/40 of what´s going on in a conversation, I wasn't ready for not being able to understand the hymns during church and not having Ang come up to me after and patting my back and saying ´hi hon´ or no hugs from Kim, or not sitting in between Cami and Brittany in the chapel in Cedar. It´s little things like that, that I had no idea would be so hard - but I also had no idea how happy I´d be walking around all day long attempting to talk to people. 

So on Monday we had P-day and Presidente and Hermana Caffaro came and played with our zone and Hna. took the sisters to go get ice cream and after hna sanchez and I went grocery shopping and I found peanut butter! YAY!!! 

Tuesday we went to go find two girls who we contacted in the street and they weren't home so we were standing outside of the door and this old lady is up on the mountain and says, you can come teach me. So we hiked up to her house and taught her. Her name is Antonia and she lives in a tiny hut and has a dirt floor and is really open to our message! It´s awesome. She has 7 dogs, a cat, and a bunch of chickens. During the closing prayer a chicken came up and pecked my foot....who would have thought that 6 chickens would just be chillin´ with us during a lesson? I thought it was pretty funny.

Wednesday was terrible. During language study I just felt so overwhelmed with the language and just started to bawl. Then later that night at an investigators house they were talking and I couldn't understand and I´ve gotten really good at understanding the phrase, ´she doesn´t understand does she?´ and one of the investigators said that and I felt the tears starting to come, so I asked to use the bathroom (that I do know how to say in spanish) and in this tiny, dirty bathroom, underneath the stairs I just sank onto my knees and started to sob uncontrollably for a good 5-10 minutes. Not one of my finest moments. I remember saying, ¨heavenly father¨ but I don´t think I got anything out past that. It was terrible. I´ve never felt so alone in my life. But then I read in Matthew 14: 29-32 and realized that I am Peter. We all are Peter and that the Lord has his hand constantly stretched out to us and that it is up to us to take a hold of it so He can pull us into the boat and the storm can stop. So after I finally stopped crying our investigator, David, started making jokes and had me laughing so it was all better and I finally realized who he reminds me of. He reminds me of a mix between Daddy, Shawn and Tony. I love it! 

Thursday was awesome!! I saw a volcano explode!! (I've seen 2 more since) It was awesome! I 

didn't have my camera though...so no pictures, sorry! But after I saw the volcano explode we were contacting and we contacted this family and the mom started making all sort of excuses about how they don´t have time and blah blah blah, and then she said, ´my son is in english classes and he has this big test and he needs to study´and then I said, I can help him study. I know english. And she asked how much I charge for tutoring and I told her that it would be free, just a service and she looked shocked and then agreed to have us come back and help him. So basically we´re going to baptize the whole family. It´s going to be awesome. But the coolest thing was Thursday night. There was not only one, but TWO EARTHQUAKES!! 

Friday we went and contacted with a member, she´s in her 60´s and lives alone and has a friend who she thinks needs the gospel, so we went with her and shared our message and her friend started crying and said that her husband is sick and has all these problems and she knows that the gospel will bless her life so much. Amazing!

Saturday was good, I met Juan Lopez. We walked past him and he started talking in english and normally I ignore men who talk in english because they just want to get my attention and it´s just dumb. But for some reason I said hi back and then he started up a conversation and he´s from LA and he gave me all the updates of what´s going on with football and said we could come teach his family on monday´s before football is on. 

Sunday was so much better! It was just a good day. At church we had an elder in our ward get home from his mission and then we went and ate lunch with his family and he was Kaden Newburger´s companion and so we talked about that and he said Kaden is doing awesome. Then that night we went to teach Sarleth and we got there and she was trying to make her house warmer. So me and my comp insulated her house using cardboard and a nail gun. Cardboard. My heart broke. Seriously, we have it so easy in the states. I feel so spoiled. 

So that´s all that I can think of for this week! Hope all is well with you guys! I love you so much!! Have a great week!

Love, Hermana Tuddenham

week 6 & 7

Hey family!

Okay wow. So much to say. So our last week at the CCM was awesome and very sad. Our district got so close, it was tough for all of us to say goodbye. 

So I told yáll about that song that we were going to sing for our last devotional and we had some people from the airport come over to have lunch at the CCM so we can have a better relationship with the airport and they´ll help out more with missionary needs. So our teacher had us go sing that song to them and the spirit was so powerful. This tough old man was sitting in front of me and none of them are members of the church and this old man just had tears running down his face, along with several other people. It was such an amazing experience.

So one of our last nights in the CCM we were waiting for our teacher and two other companionships to get done with teaching and so we were all chatting and having fun and someone brought up quarter basketball and one elder had never heard of it before so we played it with him and he had pencil marks all over his face and we were laughing so hard and presidente walked in...ya...not one of the brightest moments, but it was still so funny.

Mom I got the letters!! YAY! Thank you! They made my night!

So I´m really short on time and there is so much to say, so you´re just going to get parts of the week.

Presidente and Hermana Caffaro are the nicest people. I love them! They know Rachel Cox and are related to her some how and they also know Dave Richards. Such a small world!

So my area is Monte Maria and it´s in the capital just like 10 or 15 minutes away from the CCM. I´m the first missionary to start in this area so that´s kind of neat...We have some awesome investigators. We have 6 with baptismal dates and I am so happy for all of them!

My spanish is terrible. Absolutely terrible. I hardly understand anything, but each day it gets a little better and I understand a little more. Which is good.

It is freezing here. No joke. I am always so cold! It´s really pretty and I love seeing the city lights at night. The area is pretty poor and it is just heart breaking. I wish you guys could see the way these people live. Their homes are made out of pallets and scrap wood. It´s so sad. But they don´t complain, this is the only way of life they know. You guys seriously have so idea how blessed we are.

So as far as being the only white person here, it´s great.....I get honked and whistled at everywhere we go. Men always blow me kisses and one night we were teaching a lesson in the street and I was in the middle of teaching and this drunk man just comes up and kisses me! Thank heavens I turned in time and he just got my cheek....but still...this place is crazy! Little kids will see me walking and they all look at me and yell that I´m a giant. It´s so funny. 

That´s all the time I have for this week. My comp is uploading pictures with my camera right now, so I´ll send some of those! I love you guys so much! (They had a camera glitch so there are no pictures this week. However, the one below is when she left the MTC in Guatemala for the Guatemala City South Mission on Tuesday, October 28, 2014).

Love, Hermana Tuddenham

Photos of the Guatemala MTC or CCM

Hermana Tuddenham's CCM District

Elder and Hermana Burbidge & Hermana & Presidente Cox

Guatemala CCM Kitchen Crew

Hermana Tuddenham & Hermana Jepson

week 5: I need to work on my spanish . . . . .

Okay, so first off, this week has been fantastic and has gone by so fast!! Seriously I can't believe I'm emailing again. I wish I could tell you guys lots of amazing stories of things that have happened, but this week not much as gone down. Just a lot of classes and lots of Spanish. Which I'm still terrible at. But it's okay, it's slowly coming and when I really need help, like in a lesson with an investigator, I know what to say. So that's been a blessing. And this week I have just been so happy. I'll wake up at 6:30 every morning and just be happy. I'll sometimes just sit here and wonder why I'm so happy. I honestly can't tell you why other than the fact that this is the true gospel and the Lord blesses His missionaries so much.

So I told y'all that I'm the leader of the hermanas. Oh my goodness, it is so hard. There are so many hermanas here right now and spanish really is a struggle for me. But I have a good story from it, so I guess it's alright that I can't speak it. So the first night, I'm explaining all the rules to them, in spanish of course, and we're talking and I say, "If any of you get sick or have any problems I have the medication kit for the hermanas and you can just come talk to me and we'll make sure you feel better."  the last group of hermanas here called medications 'drugas'. . . ya, these new latinas do NOT call medication drugas. So, I'll just give you a rough translation of what I told all these new sister missionaries. "If you are sick or not feeling good, I have drugs for you. There's a whole kit and I'll help you feel better." Yep. I told 30 sister missionaries that I'm a drug dealer. It was awesome. They laughed at me so hard and I'm sure my face was bright red. But once we got that cleared up they understood....at least I hope. La lucha es real. (The struggle is real). 

We are singing as a district on Sunday and the song we are singing is so beautiful. We almost had one of our teachers crying. We are singing oh my father to the tune of homeward bound by MoTab. It's so so so beautiful. Please look it up. I wish you guys could hear it. 

So I'm out of time, and since it's transfers on Tuesday, yes I'm going out into the real world of Guatemala. It's going to be fantastic. I don't know if I'll be able to email you guys next week, so it might be two weeks until you hear from me. So we'll just have to see! 

I love you guys so much!! Look for other people to serve. Please. That is huge. Someone always needs you to help them. Have an awesome week! I love you!

Love, 

Hermana Tuddenham

week 4: One month already?!

Hello my dear family! How are y'all? I hope so good! Thanks for all the emails and the updates! I love reading them and seeing pictures!

Okay so first off, how has it been a month? Like honestly. I feel like I've been here for only a few days...but at the same time I feel like I've been here my whole life. But to think there's only 17 months left just makes my heart race! There's so much to do and 17 months just isn't long enough to do it all! I only have two week left here at the CCM and I have only recieved one letter so far and it was from Grandma Jo (thanks! It totally made my night!) She used a global stamp and it got to me within a week, so mom try and use those. Hopefully the rest of the letters make it before I leave, but from now on send all your letters to:

Guatemala Guatemala City South

Apartado Postal 340-A

01909 Guatemala City

Guatemala

and if you're sending packages send them to:

Guatemala Guatemala City South

Ave. Reforma 8/60 Galerias Reforma

Torre 2 Nivel 6, 606 Zona 9

Guatemala

with packages, if you use a private courier you'll need to call 502 2331-8611. and just be sure to put a little something in for my companions because they'll almost never get anything from home. I don't think I'll need very many because I can get just about everything here. But I do want that ipod with music and I'll keep you updated with that.

okay, so this week has been 1,000x's better. Honestly. It went by so fast and I have been so happy this week. 

One of the things that stood out to me most in general conference and a bunch of our devotionals is the importance of partaking the sacrament. It really should be something we look forward to taking each week and something that we take with deep reverance in our hearts. It should be when we remember the Savior's sacrafice for us and that was not an easy thing to do. But He did it because He loves us. This Sunday I tried really hard to focus on the importance and significance of what I was doing and it was a very special experience.

On wednesday we got the opportunity to go out and do actual street contacting. But first let me clear up confusion about when I talk about my investigadors, sorry I thought I explained this the first week. They aren't real investigadors, it's just our teachers acting like investigadors and at first I thought it was really stupid because it's pretend. But we have a special part of the building called CRE and there are 6 rooms that are decorated to look just like living rooms and we have to knock on the door and act like it's a real house. Our teachers use people they know to act and pretend they have the same problems and needs. It's crazy how much you end up loving these people and want them to be happy. We pray for them and really feel like they're real. So sorry for not explaining that earlier. So anyways, they opened up the gates and said go talk to people. I was so scared. I struggle with spanish more than most people in my district and get down about that sometimes, but it's okay. So we go and talk to this one lady and she just completely blows us off. But then we went up and were talking to one of the guards that was outside one of the stores and placed a book of mormon!! That was the best feeling in the world. And after that conversation we didn't know who to talk to and I saw this man probably in his 50's walking down the street. He was outside of the boundary we were given, but the second I saw him, I knew we needed to talk to him. So I said, "Hermana Jepson. We need to wait for him to get to us and we need to talk to him." So she said okay and we stood and waited for him. We walked up and said hello and asked how he was and he replied quickly and kept walking past us and then all of a sudden just stopped walking and turned around and walked back to us and started talking to us. He said he lives near by and walks past the CCM and the temple every day and has wondered for the longest time what they are. So we explained....IN SPANISH...real live spanish! He took a Book of Mormon and said he wanted to meet with us again! I love contacting! It is the greatest feeling in the world, to know that your message can bring someone so much happiness and to see the Lord working inside them! It's amazing! Look for experiences to share the gospel, they are everywhere!

We had a devotional by Jeffery R. Holland and something he said really struck me. He said, "What organization puts it's future on the backs of 18 and 19 year olds? What government does that? What buisness does that? What church does that? Unless it contains the absolute truthfulness of the gospel.' So that's just a neat quote to think about.

So there have been some funny things that happened this week. First off, we were outside on the basketball courts teaching each other and practicing how to contact and it was at night and we were standing in a big group and when it gets dark it cools off and bugs come out. So we're standing there and this giant moth lands on my shirt and I brushed it off because I didn't realize how big it was. And then it came and landed on me again and this time I realized how huge it was and screamed and started running around trying to get it to leave me alone, but it wouldn't! Oh my gosh the bugs here are so big! It was terrifying. My district was laughing so hard at me. It was not funny at all. Scariest thing ever. But then it turned out to just be a butterfly.....but it was still a giant monster bug. 

One of the other funny things that happened was last night at dinner. We had chicken drumsticks and the latina sitting next to me was just going to town and I have no idea how this happened, but while she was eating it the top part of the chicken launched off of the bone and smacked me in the face and rolled down my arm and landed in my lap. It felt like someone had just slapped me, except there was wet stuff running down my face. The look on that latinas face was priceless. One I realized what had happened I was laughing so hard. None of us could eat because we were laughing so hard.

So there's this elder in my district and he acts just like Ellie. Not even kidding. It's like I never left home and Ellie just came with me and is a 19 year old boy. It's the funniest thing and kind of nice to still have El with me all day. I want them to get married. I won't ever babysit their children because they'll be so wild. But they're perfect for each other.

So I'm still the tallest hermana in the whole CCM. The last group of latinas we had were very very very short. Like don't even come to my shoulder. One night we were standing there and I felt like buddy the elf. You know how in the first part of the movie he's in the north pole and everyone else is tiny and he's huge. that's how I feel every day of my life. I seriously am a giant. A giant with a very strange last name. Oh I wish I could take a picture of everyone's face when I say what my last name it. NO ONE can pronounce it right and it's hilarious. We'll be in class or at a devotional and the person in charge will be asking people to say prayers or lead music or something and they'll look at me and say, "Hermannnnaaaaaaa.......Jepson! Will you say the prayer?" It's so funny because they were going to pick me, but Tuddenham is just too hard for them to say. I love it because then I never have to do anything. Okay that's not entirely true because I just got called to be the leader of all the hermanas in the CCM. I am scared to death. We have our biggest group coming today and tomorrow of hermanas and I'm supposed to take care of them and guide them and help them and I can't even speak their language...so this is going to be a challenge. But I'm sure with the Lord's help I'll be able to speak a little spanish. 

I was so happy to hear the USU beat BYU!! Go Aggies!! My comp. is a die-hard Utah State fan as well. She lives in Vegas but went to USU last year and we were both very happy to hear of that victory! She said that they are tearing down the golden toaster thought! How sad is that?? 

Dad, we didn't feel that massive earthquake here. But we are right by the boarder of El Salvador so I'm sure some parts did, I just didn't because I was out cold last night. Sleep is pure gold. I love it.

Mom, I'll be sure to write you that letter you asked for. I'll stick it in the mail today or tomorrow. Sorry I'd write it now but don't have much more time. So be looking for that.

I love you guys so much! Thank you for all your prayers. You truly have no idea how much of a difference they make. It's such a blessing to have such a supportive family!

I love you!

Con mucho amor,

Hermana Tuddenham

week 3: This too shall pass . . . .

Hey family! 

So this week has been super hard and discouraging. But hey we all have tough weeks don't we? It's good for us to have some rough and sad times so that we can more fully appreciate the good times! So this must be a blessing in disugise right?

So I'll just hit the highlights from this week:

Good news! The tests from the hosptial came back negative, which is a blessing that there is nothing seriously wrong. They put me on some medications for 6 weeks that I take twice a day and that has been helping a ton. I still get pretty sick sometimes, but I'm able to still go to class. I know that the priesthood blessing I was given really helped me alot. The power of the priesthood is amazing.

So the market was a blast! This city is gorgeous! There are so many neat things! I found some cool things for y'all that I'll send home for Christmas! Wendy's was amazing. The frosty's down here are so much better than at home. Seriously, they are to die for! 

We committed our first investigador to baptism! That was honestly the greatest part of this entire week. The spirit in that room was so strong testifying of the truthfulness of this gospel. That moment in and of itself makes all the crappy times worth it. I am so happy for Frederman. He's ready for this and so willing to learn! 

So the funniest thing happened at one of our devotionals. An elder in my district fell asleep and was out cold. We all stood up to sing the last song and he was still out. His comp was being super loud and yell singing and he still wouldn't wake up. So after all the nortes (us white people) got in a big circle around him and just laughed for like ten minutes and he was still out cold. So one of the elders said on the count of three sing called to serve as loud as you can. So we did and not even 5 words into the song, which was exteremely loud by the way, he jumped out of his chair, his glasses went flying off, he said some words a missionary shouldn't say and had the look of pure terror on his face. We all laughed for probably twenty minutes about that. It was so funny!

I can't remeber what day of the week it was, but we had the worst rainstorm Presidente said he's ever seen down here. It was amazing! The thunder was so loud it shook the entire CCM and set off every car alarm in Guatemala City and made me scream, it scared me so bad. Then all at once it just started to pour. The definition of pouring rain here and in the United States is completely different. You couldn't see becuase it was raining so hard. It's the most wonderful thing to fall asleep to. It's not so much fun when your room floods because you forget to shut your window....that was an adventure to clean up....

So we got to watch General Conference in english and it was amazing!!! Such a good conference. I don't know if you guys noticed or if it's just because this is all I think about every day, but all the talks were perfect for investigadors. Please please please send me them when they get printed next month. There are no english ones here, and if they have them they are so expensive. I loved Elder Bednar's talk on the Saturday afternoon session. That was simply amazing. The story was so funny and so sweet. I could go off on all the talks forever! And how cool was it that they got to speak their native language! Dad, did you catch on to anything the chinese speaker said? Or was the english voice too loud? 

This week the most important thing I've learned is to rely on the Holy Ghost. Even when you're having the worst day ever and everything is getting you down, the Holy Ghost will lift you up in your darkest hour and will help everything seem okay. With my 16 hour days learning spanish all day and not understanding basically anything and then dragging my feet to bed at 10:30, the only thing that makes it worth it is the spirit and love I have for my Savior. I love Him. This is His work and it is amazing. I really cannot describe to you the love I have for Him. I wouldn't be out here if I didn't know with certainty in my heart and mind that this gospel is 100% true. This is truly God's true church. Never take advantage that we have this happiness in our life and have so many advantages of living in Utah and having so many temples near us.

I love you guys so much and miss you dearly.

Love,

Hermana Tuddenham