tonight my heart is so full. I am taking out my endowment at the Salt Lake Temple tomorrow and I am so happy. When people hear that I am going through the temple and still have three months until I leave they tell me I am going through way too soon and say that I should wait. There are a few reasons why I am going to the temple so soon.
When I moved home from school my Aunt Lisa and Uncle Ron went on a vacation and I went to Salt Lake and babysat their three kids for a few days. While I was down there and the kids were in school I got to spend some time with family members I hadn't been able to see very often with me being at school so far away. One of my cousins' Ari, began telling me about what she and her husband were doing to prepare to be sealed in the House of the Lord to each other and their sweet baby girl for time and all eternity. As we were chatting she invited me to come watch the sealing if I would be going through the temple before the sealing. I told her I would talk to my bishop and see what he thought.
At church the next Sunday I passed my bishop and briefly mentioned to him that my cousin was getting sealed soon and I had been invited if I would be able to go through the temple beforehand. So he told me he thought it was a great idea and to set up a temple recommend interview.
My bishop is one of my neighbors and a good family friend so for the first few minutes of my interview we just chatted about life and he asked me how I was feeling about this whole experience and if I was excited. I told him I was excited, but I was also very nervous and kind of second guessing myself and at times just simply pure terrified. But I also knew that those feelings were Satan trying to get at me and sometimes I did good at not listening to him and not feeding those doubts, but other times I let him get to me and scare me to death. My bishop explained that through the temple I would find peace and comfort and through regular attendance to the temple I would find an extra added strength from God and that to be endowed meant to be given power to help overcome the adversary.
I am so grateful for this opportunity to find that deep peace. Growing up one of my favorite songs was 'I love to see the temple'. It goes like this;
I love to see the temple.
I'm going there someday
To feel the Holy Spirit,
To listen and to pray.
For the temple is a house of God,
A place of love and beauty.
I'll prepare myself while I am young;
This is my sacred duty.
I love to see the temple.
I'll go inside someday.
I'll cov'nant with my Father;
I'll promise to obey,
For the temple is a holy place
Where we are sealed together.
As a child of God, I've learned this truth:
A fam'ly is forever.
When I was little, before we moved to Heber, we lived with my grandparents in Salt Lake for a few months and at night through my bedroom window I could see the Angel Moroni on the Jordan River temple all lit up. I think it was those few months when I was 6 years old that I truly began to love seeing the temple and singing the primary songs about it. I loved the feeling I got as I would look at it each night and as I grew older, the feeling only deepened.
In high school I had many fun times and experiences, but I also had trials and heartaches. One of those trials was my knees. The summer between my freshman and sophomore year I was goofing off with my dad and siblings and we were 'surfing' in a canal by our house and I fell and landed on my knee, which dislocated my kneecap. We tried getting it back in place, but it was stuck and would not budge. Finally, after a very painful five days it went back into place. Little did we realize that it had grabbed a piece of my meniscus and over the next few months would completely shred it to pieces, past the point of it being able to be repaired. From July 2010 to May 2013, my left knee had been operated on four times and my right knee once. I had spent countless hours in physical therapy, in doctors offices, being in a wheelchair, using crutches and I'm fairly sure I could supply the entire army with knee braces, I have so many. One of my surgeries had some complications and some things had been cut wrong and I was in excruciating pain. To this day, I have never been in so much pain in my life. I remember laying on the couch in my living room, it was the middle of the night and everyone was asleep so I was alone. The pain meds weren't even touching the aches and throbs and I began to get angry and upset with Heavenly Father. I couldn't understand why He let me suffer like this. I truly thought He had forgotten about me. Not only was I in so much pain, but I had missed try-outs for basketball and now softball (I never played sports in high school after my surgeries started.) and I was crushed. I was having a rough time with friends and felt hopelessly alone. I vividly remember laying there and trying my best not to cry, but not knowing what else to do. I couldn't walk and had been laying on the couch for two weeks. I. Was. Miserable. I started to cry out of frustration, and then I said a prayer and said this,
"Heavenly Father, just let me die. Please. I'm begging. Just let me go to sleep and never wake up. I can't do this anymore. I'm done."
And that's all I said. Well, obviously I woke up the next day and I am very grateful that prayer did not get answered. Instead of letting me give up, Heavenly Father gave me a beacon of strength to get through those tough times. My beacon was the Salt Lake Temple. Every time I would see a picture of it or go visit the grounds (by the way, DO NOT go to temple square at Christmas time to see the lights on crutches. Bad idea. Very bad idea!) I would feel peace and hope and happiness. And after that experience Salt Lake became my absolutely favorite temple and that is why I chose to take my endowment out there.
In my preparation to go to the temple I read the church handbook on preparing for the temple and have made sure to have regular scripture study and pray morning and night and all throughout the day if I ever need anything or just want to talk to Heavenly Father about how I'm feeling. I've also been reading, "The Infinite Atonement" by Brother Tad R. Callister. It is an amazing book and I highly suggest it to everyone! I am very excited and grateful for this opportunity to learn in the temple and to feel that peace offered to each of us in the House of the Lord.
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